By Bruce Lansky

If Pigs might Fly? and different Deep recommendations is a set of Bruce Lansky's personal hilarious poems approximately every thing childrens are taken with, together with: pungent diapers, obese family, toothless grandmas, soiled socks, rude canines, burping infants, undesirable hair days and extra. The poems during this ebook were established on over 1,000 schoolchildren and their lecturers in order that merely the main giggle-packed poems are incorporated.

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Extra resources for If Pigs Could Fly: And Other Deep Thoughts (Bruce Lansky's Poems)

Example text

Do not read a textbook when your hands aren’t clean—it’s tricky to separate the pages when the pages get real sticky. When you go out for a team it’s always wise to practice. When you are a substitute, the bench can feel like cactus. Do not copy homework from a friend who is a dummy. If you do, I’m sure that you will get a grade that’s crummy. And if your report card’s bad, don’t blame it on your buddy. Kiss up to your parents quick, or they might make you study. I Should Have Studied A Bad Case of Sneezes I didn’t study for the test and now I’m feeling blue.

I Should Have Studied A Bad Case of Sneezes I didn’t study for the test and now I’m feeling blue. I copied off your paper and I flunked it just like you. Last night I had the sneezes. I was really very ill. My mother called the doctor who prescribed a purple pill. At eight o’clock I went to bed. My mom turned out the light. I used up one whole box of Kleenex sneezing through the night. I sneezed my brains out in my bed. I didn’t get much rest. So that’s the reason, teacher, that I flunked the spelling test.

Forgetful My sister woke up in the morning. She had to go potty real bad. I must have forgotten to put the seat down. She fell in the toilet—how sad. She yelled and she screamed and she hollered. There’s no doubt that she was upset. Whenever my sister is nasty to me, It seems that I always forget. 19 Ain’t She Sweet My sister’s boyfriends think she’s sweet. But they have never smelled her feet. 20 Parents and Other Geezers Mom’s Diet Whenever Mom goes on a diet, she cooks weird food and makes me try it.

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